I have all these thoughts in my mind about what to write to sum up my time spent in Northern Ireland and the day I spent in Southern Ireland. I seem to be pretty tried, so it is hard to bring it together blog wise, but I will try. I don't think I ever explained quite why I was here, and who with. I am at the Spring Gathering of the Europe and Middle Eastern Young Friends, and the theme for this year was community building, which we explored in various morning workshops, and tried to build with one another.
However, to sum up my personal journey of the week (rather than the group spiritual journey): I have learnt about Irish history, met some awesome young Quakers from all over Europe and the Middle East, shared a room with a groovy Irish Quaker girl, and finally had the chance to see Belfast and Dublin. I also turned into a sloth despite bringing my sports kit with me, and basically slept for about three or maybe four days. I am still sleepy, because I suddenly got too hot at night, and all the sleep I made up for which I had lacked, I lost all over again.
My diet was mostly vegetarian, and very high in carbohydrates because someone was allergic to pulses it would seem. I didn't really crave meat during the week, though when we visited the junior Friends in Drogheda, many of whom eat meat, and I loaded myself up on chicken to make up for the lack of proteins on the menu for this week.
Visiting Ireland gave me an opportunity to get perspective on my ancestors who left because of the famine. I read up on the Irish diaspora, and the many British people with Irish roots, and it is probably quite a common ancestry to have considering the geographic closeness of Ireland to England, Scotland, and Wales etc, and the number of forced migrations out of Ireland due to famine or poor living conditions.
Ireland also kept giving me cravings to go back to Wales, despite having my heart broken by first love who was obviously welsh. I feel strong enough and ready, so I am going in a trip out there to see a friend probably in May. This is super exciting, and a bit frightening. Drogheda had a fantastic beach which looked very welsh, and I think the general celt-ness of Ireland is just putting me in this mental space of wanting to return to that small country beyond England.
In regards to love, I suppose I have had a lot of space to deal with 'stuff' with wonderful Quaker friends around me. I feel a little better, though still massively confused about the past and the recent past. Its painful how confusing it still is, but I dreamt about lancing a infected boil (which I had decided in my dream was something to do with my education symbolically), and apparently that is linked to purging negative emotions which have been long suppressed, so I hope I am moving in a better direction.
I decided to keep focusing on developing my self love, in the hope that perhaps one day, in a happy state, I will attract someone who will not wound me in quite the same way as my first love did, and other successive loves etc. I would like someone to treat me nicely, but until then I am going to just love me, and heal as much as I can.
People seem to tell me to love myself as though I don't already, because of various life choices or judging because someone I have loved hasn't treated me well, but I think do love myself it is just a processes, not a destination.
And finally I would love to come back to Ireland and see more of the cities and the countryside, it is obviously fascinating, the obviously beautiful, the history is sad, but engaging, and the people have been great so far. Travelling with other young Friends, has also re sparked my desire to see the world, and I may get out to Norway and or Russia later in the year or next year. I have a sudden burning desire to see the world again, which I had shelved to focus on my academic career, do a masters, etc. Now that has crashed and burned, and I had to start a whole new career, I think some travelling is in order!
I don't know where everyone is...there might be scones involved in their disappearance.
However, to sum up my personal journey of the week (rather than the group spiritual journey): I have learnt about Irish history, met some awesome young Quakers from all over Europe and the Middle East, shared a room with a groovy Irish Quaker girl, and finally had the chance to see Belfast and Dublin. I also turned into a sloth despite bringing my sports kit with me, and basically slept for about three or maybe four days. I am still sleepy, because I suddenly got too hot at night, and all the sleep I made up for which I had lacked, I lost all over again.
My diet was mostly vegetarian, and very high in carbohydrates because someone was allergic to pulses it would seem. I didn't really crave meat during the week, though when we visited the junior Friends in Drogheda, many of whom eat meat, and I loaded myself up on chicken to make up for the lack of proteins on the menu for this week.
Visiting Ireland gave me an opportunity to get perspective on my ancestors who left because of the famine. I read up on the Irish diaspora, and the many British people with Irish roots, and it is probably quite a common ancestry to have considering the geographic closeness of Ireland to England, Scotland, and Wales etc, and the number of forced migrations out of Ireland due to famine or poor living conditions.
Ireland also kept giving me cravings to go back to Wales, despite having my heart broken by first love who was obviously welsh. I feel strong enough and ready, so I am going in a trip out there to see a friend probably in May. This is super exciting, and a bit frightening. Drogheda had a fantastic beach which looked very welsh, and I think the general celt-ness of Ireland is just putting me in this mental space of wanting to return to that small country beyond England.
In regards to love, I suppose I have had a lot of space to deal with 'stuff' with wonderful Quaker friends around me. I feel a little better, though still massively confused about the past and the recent past. Its painful how confusing it still is, but I dreamt about lancing a infected boil (which I had decided in my dream was something to do with my education symbolically), and apparently that is linked to purging negative emotions which have been long suppressed, so I hope I am moving in a better direction.
I decided to keep focusing on developing my self love, in the hope that perhaps one day, in a happy state, I will attract someone who will not wound me in quite the same way as my first love did, and other successive loves etc. I would like someone to treat me nicely, but until then I am going to just love me, and heal as much as I can.
People seem to tell me to love myself as though I don't already, because of various life choices or judging because someone I have loved hasn't treated me well, but I think do love myself it is just a processes, not a destination.
And finally I would love to come back to Ireland and see more of the cities and the countryside, it is obviously fascinating, the obviously beautiful, the history is sad, but engaging, and the people have been great so far. Travelling with other young Friends, has also re sparked my desire to see the world, and I may get out to Norway and or Russia later in the year or next year. I have a sudden burning desire to see the world again, which I had shelved to focus on my academic career, do a masters, etc. Now that has crashed and burned, and I had to start a whole new career, I think some travelling is in order!
I don't know where everyone is...there might be scones involved in their disappearance.
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